lite & lucid

Yep!  I’m finally writing in the blog I set up over five months ago.  I’ve never been accused of being timely though, or a phenomenal writer, or of having anything more interesting to say than the next person, but I do want to share my experiences with the people I love, and anyone else who may be interested or inspired.  2014 turned out to be a year of intense transition for me both personally and professionally.  I am fortunate enough to have a blank canvas on which to express my interests and passions to create what life will be from now on.  In a nutshell I’ve decided to minimize where I can to free my resources, mostly time, in order to explore my interests!

I decided to begin writing a blog as a part of living deliberately and simply, and it also falls into the category of something I’ve always wanted to do.  I hope to find my voice in order to share my story, and to inspire some of you along the way to improve your lives by choosing to spend your precious, finite time chasing whatever you are passionate about and letting the world follow you.  During deliberation, I polled some very close family and friends about what they thought made me unique, and what would make anyone want to read what I write.  To summarize the survey results; I’m a female Air Force pilot who has flown around the world and I’m intensely passionate about people, places and things – nouns, I guess.  Sometimes I’m funny, and I’ve almost never been afraid to try.  My joie de vivre makes it difficult for me to specialize but acts as my encouragement to approach whatever I’m drawn to despite fear or common sense.  Because of that I have learned to jump that much farther into the void when something new conjures fear.  Thanks to Eleanor for saying more eloquently than I ever could:

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”

― Eleanor Roosevelt, You Learn by Living: Eleven Keys for a More Fulfilling Life

“You must do the thing you think you cannot do”.  I find that quote very inspirational and I lean on it often.  I already stand in front of a list of things in life I thought I could not do.  That mixed with being trapped in a comfortable lifestyle led me to realize how much I craved more adventure, investigation, and risk.  When I reached middle management I realized I wasn’t achieving a satisfying balance in my life.  The list of things I want to do during my time on this earth grew at a rate much faster than I could pursue it, and I had little flexibility to work with.  So after almost ten years of active duty I have separated from military with an eye on adventure.

Intense feelings to pursue experiences and make lasting memories were only amplified by the passing of my young, wonderful cousin, Michael Harms, in 2012.  He was a courageous, considerate young man and United States Marine, one of the greatest fans of my life, and my hero.  He lived his life admirably especially after a fatal diagnosis in 2007, focused on experience, relationships and making memories.  Although he practiced an economy of words, he practiced no economy of passion especially for experiencing culture and spending time with his loved ones.  He visited me everywhere I was stationed, and although he only lived 28 years, he indisputably made the most of them in a way that left every life he touched inspired.  For now suffice it to say that his passing and the way he lived brought to light that time is certainly the most precious resource, and that I was far from being deliberate with mine.

Before I made my final decision to move on I began reading other blogs about living deliberately.  Two that became favorites are The Minimalists, and Gone with the Wynns. The Minimalists,  http://www.theminimalists.com/, are two friends who left large salaried jobs and lifestyles to live with much less and seek fulfillment in life through deliberate action instead of accumulation of material goods and status.  Their blog shares their experiences and provides a how-to for anyone interested in minimizing in any way.  Gone with the Wynns, http://www.gonewiththewynns.com/, is a couple’s blog about also leaving large lifestyles to travel the country and work out of their RV.  This is another courageous example of people living their passions deliberately.  I’ve found these examples very inspiring and have slowly incorporated a lot of the principles into my own life.  I even spent about a year researching travel trailers to help me accomplish many of the things I accumulated on my life list.  What I finally landed on was a cricket trailer and you can see it in my pictures and check them out on http://crickettrailer.com/.  The cricket trailer may be best described as a hybrid between a travel trailer and a pop-up and affords me a lightweight, efficient, minimalist option for my travel plans or a spontaneous adventure!

Long introductions aside, now it’s time for the exciting part – doing!  First and foremost on the list; my furries.  During my most recent deployment it occurred to me that it would be my last and I would be able to fulfill a life long dream to have a big dog of my own.  This is something that would have been nearly impossible throughout my military time, but now I could finally commit to being a responsible pet owner.  As a child I was always in love with animals, and like many children decided that I wanted to therefore become a veterinarian.  That never played out though, I didn’t become a veterinarian for the same reasons I didn’t attempt medical school – organic chemistry and genetics, not to mention several more years of school.  But I didn’t know that growing up.  What I did know is I wanted to collect animals.  At any given time my family had cats and dogs, hamsters and gerbils, fish and newts, rabbits, guinea pigs, and a collection of wild caught critters; I didn’t exactly grow up on a farm but I did live rurally for a while and I got to ride my bike around and see plenty of farm animals.  My Mother reports that for a long time as a very young child I also wanted a horse.  Apparently I even lobbied my parents that if I could raise enough money I would board it down the road and ride my bicycle to visit.  My business plan had some gapping holes though, as my only planned funding came from selling watercolor-painted rocks to my Grandmother.  Entrepreneurship may not be my calling; inventory was high and interest was low, so I had to settle for an occasional horse spotting over neighbors’ fences.  I have been waiting a couple of decades for my own four-footed furry.

Once I realized I could get a dog I set in on my research.  On deployment I consulted the google for “short-haired athletic guard dog” and settled on a Rhodesian Ridgeback as a breed.  This led me down the rabbit hole of local breeders, and available puppies.  As luck would have it, there was a local breeder about an hour and a half from my home and a litter of their puppies would become available just in time for my return.  I could put down a deposit, choose one from the ridiculously sweet photos on their website and pick her up the day after I got back.  So, in the spirit of living deliberately (and possibly encouraged by a few over zealous animial-loving friends – i.e. Michelle), I put down the deposit and looked at pictures of my growing pup, Sadie, for the next month.  I’m not ashamed to admit I also almost obsessively viewed #rhodesianridgeback on instagram to see how pretty (and massive) she would be when she grew up, and to imagine all the fun adventures we would get into together.  I recommend this if you are a lover of any particular breed, but NOT if you are a lover of a breed and not ready to get a new dog.

The day finally came, August 6^th, 2014.  I found myself at a gas station meeting point in Carney, Oklahoma with new puppy toys, food, snacks and every other new-pet item ready to fetch my lovable companion.  During the drive there I was as beside myself as a child staring at a mountain of wrapped presents under a Christmas tree.  The moment I literally waited decades for was upon me.  I pulled into the gas station next to a picnic table where Linda, the breeder, sat patiently holding my Sadie on a short leash.  I didn’t know what to expect when I picked up that red, short-haired ball of muscle who will grow into a ninety pound protector.  When I was driving towards the table I could see her crouched under the bench and I was sure she’d be shy and take some convincing in the form of bacon flavored treats to let me pet her and lure her into her chariot.  To my surprise as I parked and got out of my Jeep she perked her ears and lunged for me.  Linda said that it was unusual behavior for her, and I knew Sadie had been waiting for me too.  It’s a sappy love story and a little girl’s dream come true (well, two dreams really because she almost doubles as a horse too).  I drove home with my sweet puppy in the back of my four-door Jeep while she stared at me with her sweet brown eyes.  When I brought her into my house, deployment bags were still scattered and unpacked revealing six months of uniforms and workout clothes in mounds waiting for me to organize.  I got down on the floor to play with Sadie, and to watch her explore her new surroundings, expecting her to try to chew a boot or a shirt.  Instead she drew up into a ball and laid down as close to me as she could, like she’d only been waiting the whole ride to be my best friend.  My heart melted and I laid down next her on the hardwood floor in a silent house surrounded by memories of my last long military excursion. I knew then that I was back in control of my life, and my little buddy was there to share it with me.

For three days Sadie and I played and got to know each other.  I unpacked and cleaned, a routine I’ve been through a dozen times after long military TDYs.  I couldn’t get over how well behaved my new Rhodesian was.  She slept quietly, went to the bathroom promptly when I took her out, and wasn’t chewing on anything but her toys.  I couldn’t believe it and I took what seemed like a thousand pictures.  Overwhelmed by my love for her, I didn’t want her to get lonely, and I also knew that one of her sisters was still available.  Along with the unexpectedly good behavior a strong case (rationalization some psychologists may call it) was made for me to ask the Linda what she thought about me adopting the last remaining puppy in the litter.  In an act of good will the breeder offered the other puppy to me for a fraction of the price.  I contemplated the offer sitting on my back porch in the sweltering Oklahoma August heat.  Could severe jet-lag be clouding my mind I wondered, as I finished unpacking and then repacked to head home to Missouri for my much-needed two weeks of leave?  How could this possibly be a good decision?  How could it not!?  To add to the list of reasons I should get two small, cute Rhodesian Ridgeback sister puppies at once, I knew that I would drive right through where the breeder lived on the way home.  So, in either a moment of weakness or genius or sheer stupidity I decided to pick up her sister, Carmen, in a couple of days.  At different times, it has seemed like all three moments; weakness, genius and stupidity.  But now I couldn’t be happier that I have my little travel family all ready to go.  My red dogs get the back of the Jeep, which is now outfitted with a blue Hawaiian- patterned canvas cover over the folded-down seats and a mesh netting separating the back from the front, lest I gain any over zealous copilots while driving. Everything else gets stored in the trailer, that so far, we have taken for a couple of short trips.  Very soon I am heading on the first full-length adventure to Charleston, South Carolina.  I plan on visiting places and friends and heading to a fantastic wedding in the process!

I want to dedicate this first journey on the list to my late cousin, Sgt. Michael Harms USMC, for his encouragement, friendship, and example.  Finally, it’s time for me to do all the things I’ve always wanted to do.