lite & lucid

This is a travel story recounting a trip I’d been dreaming about taking to a place I’d been meaning to visit for a very long time.  Washington D.C. was such an incredible and serendipitous trip that I decided to break it into (probably 3) parts.  I added more pictures and tried to be (a little) less long-winded, about 30% less to be exact.  Thank you again everyone for reading what I have to say and providing wonderful feedback.  Most of this series focuses on my Brother, Steven, who is a constant inspiration to me.  I hope it encourages you to make time to take that trip with someone and work on developing that relationship that hasn’t quite gotten to where it could be.  I believe it’s one of the best ways to spend your precious time.  Enjoy the account!

Part I: The Surprise

When I look back at my childhood with my only brother, I sometimes wince and often feel apologetic.  I’ve been quite the stereotypical older sister to Steven, four years my junior.  I ignored him, made fun of him, discounted him and generally acceptably abused him as much and as often as I could get away with.  He appropriately annoyed me too of course.  Once when I was very young I left the basement door open and he tumbled in his walker down the stairs, which explains a lot about him now, actually and no doubt set the tone for our future.  He was at the receiving end of my follies indefinitely.  I don’t remember the event of his spill, and I doubt I did it on purpose.  I probably even felt bad, and I’m sure I got in trouble.  Many subsequent incidents were not as innocent!  Sometimes he unfairly blamed me and if I ended up being unjustly punished I locked myself in my room in protest.  Always the thoughtful one, and always ready to play micro machines again, Steven developed a sound reconciliation policy; he gently scooted money through the space between the bottom of the door and the floor. He knew me well at an early age.  We played Nintendo, drank kool-aid, built forts, rode bikes down the street, had firework wars and constantly held screaming matches.  It was probably some type of normal sibling-hood.

During our awkward adolescences we didn’t have as much in common.  I am a typical first born, self-absorbed and focused on sports, school and social life.  Steven is a very intelligent, self-admitted socially awkward, but friendly introvert.  He has a lot to say, but it’s always worth hearing.  He’s tender and compassionate and very thoughtful.  He read comic books, played video games and had computer parties with friends while I was probably worried about my popularity, grades and achievements.  He always read more, listened to more music and had greater insights and interests in everything.

In fact, I venture to say he knew me better than I knew myself for many, many years.  Every time he thoughtfully suggested a book, or music or activity he thought I would like, he was more than right.  I finally began to listen to him.  When he was in high school I was deep into my college experience, but we coincidentally decided to join the military the same year.  I joined ROTC at the University of Missouri, and he decided to early enlist in the Marines.  He joined the school track team to get in shape in preparation basic training.  On his own with diet and exercise he lost almost 100 pounds.  I was so impressed with him, and our similarities began to slowly grow.

Throughout our time in the military we stayed in contact but have only grown closer in the last four years since I moved to Oklahoma and was able to visit more often.  He also successfully sought alcohol and addiction treatment, which has been the greatest enhancement to our relationship and something I am thankful for every single day.  I’m so thrilled at our reconnection and during my sappy introspection and reflection I began to realize what a precious opportunity we both have.  I know we are the keeper of each other’s childhoods.  No one else will know the depth of our development and circumstances like we will.  No one else shared the divorce, custody battle, and separation pain that we did.  No one will have quite the off-brand of humor, nerdy interests or lame jokes that we share.  No one else will ever be my Brother since 1985.

Not surprisingly, I don’t remember ever being a very giving older Sister.  I have always loved Steven but probably never showed it much, or even realized it myself.  In the spirit of living deliberately I decided I wanted to surprise him with a trip somewhere to make some Franke memories.  I had mentioned to him before that when he met certain life goals I would take him anywhere in the United States.  Well, the time had come and he had accomplished them including working on his degree.  Now I also had the time to make the promise good.  Instead of waiting for him to tell me where he wanted to go I impatiently decided to plan it myself and wrap it into a surprise and a birthday present (presentation!).  Despite all of our differences we share a passion for CrossFit and (Olympic) weightlifting.  While I was deployed for six months most of our communication focused on this and nutrition.  We both love food, and he was on his way to losing 100 pounds again, weight he had gained after becoming sober.  I couldn’t be more proud of him once again for taking control of his life.  He made himself very mentally and physically strong and continues to inspire me.

Steven had mentioned several times that he wanted to go see an Olympic weightlifting competition in person to witness the incredible power and speed of these athletes.  He listened to podcasts, lifted what seemed like incessantly, and talked about it even more.  My Mom was relieved when I finally came to town in August so he and I could talk about it and she would gain a brief reprieve.  It has been the only thing that I’ve ever seen light his fire this bright.  So I searched for National weightlifting competitions while deciding on where to go and what to see.  I settled on the 2014 American Open in Washington D.C. December 12th-15th.  It’s considered the second largest National meet, and the only one in the near future.  Besides, D.C. is somewhere I’ve always wanted to visit.  Two birds, one stone!   I wanted to tell him about it so badly when I first booked the tickets in August in my jet-lagged haze.  But I decided to wait until his birthday in late September when all three of us could get on video chat to do a big reveal.  Until then of course I played big sister and made him guess at what I got him for his birthday, building suspense and generally annoying him.

I bought markers and a large paper drawing pad and made giant Pictionary-esque sketches to show him what we’d be doing.  The first one read “For Your Birthday I Got You…”.  The next page was a picture of things he’d guessed but been wrong about in big red circles with lines through them, first a barbell, then a kettlebell.  Next I drew a cartoonish picture of him and me lifting weights with our blonde hair. I didn’t mean to give myself a side ponytail and I forgot his receding hairline, but it served the purpose.  It read “You and I…”.  The next page was an airplane flying from the state of Missouri to the Lincoln Memorial with Washington D.C. written below it and the text read “December 12^th– 15th, 2014”.  Finally I turned the page and it was the logo for United States of America Weightlifting (USAW), the National lifting organization, and “2014 American Open” written across the top. I was so excited I wanted to cry, and I am pretty sure our Mother was already doing that.  Steven figured it out of course early in the slideshow and didn’t seem to have an overwhelming response. Typical!  Later I never stopped getting texts though, he was ecstatic. Not only had he not flown or traveled in five years, but also he was going to get to go to his first weightlifting competition.

Finally the day arrived. I drove from Oklahoma the day before so we could travel to Kansas City together and fly out the next day.  When we were finally in the terminal waiting to board, high on life and the anticipation of a 10-day sibling vacation, I knew this was something I would never, ever forget.  It was definitely something I’ve always wanted to do for myself and for my little Brother.  We played video games on our phones, joked like giddy school kids, snacked on trail mix and flew to D.C.  Next stop: the Washington Hilton.